Oops I Ate A Vengeance Demon: Foils and Fury Book One by Hignett Lauretta

Author:Hignett, Lauretta
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2022-10-14T00:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 19

The cold night air blew out the fog in my head as quickly as we used the blow dryers to blow away our farts in the salon. It did Chloe some good, too. As we walked out of the Dog and Bone, she threw back her head and breathed in deeply. “Oh, God,” she moaned. “I shouldn’t have done four shots in a row.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Prue snapped. “That was silly, Chloe. We’re meant to be on the job. We’re investigating.”

“Like Charlie’s Angels,” she hiccupped.

I chuckled. “Exactly,” I said. “Just like them. Except none of us speak any other languages, other than English.”

Chloe shrugged. “I can’t even speak English properly.”

“And none of us can shoot. I don’t even know how to hold a gun. I can’t abseil out of a helicopter. Or do a split.”

“I got kicked out of Tae Kwon Do when I was seven,” Prue said morosely.

“What for?”

“Biting.”

I giggled.

“Honestly,” she huffed. “I don’t see the point in martial arts, anyway. They have no real-world applications. I mean, if a giant, violent asshole was trying to grab me right now and haul me away, do you think he’s going to stay still long enough for me to get into the right posture for a front kick? No.”

“I tried Jiu Jitsu once,” Chloe piped up. “I got cuddled very firmly on a mat for half an hour. It was actually quite nice.”

I grinned at her. “Did you learn anything, though?”

“Yeah. The only thing I learnt was that if someone bigger than me decided to beat me up, well,” she shrugged. “I was going to get beaten up.”

“That’s what I mean!” Prue punched her on the shoulder. “They should have been teaching me how to bite! It would have been way more helpful. Luckily,” she said, baring her teeth, “I’ve learnt how to bite properly since then. I’ve had to teach myself.” She ran her tongue over her slightly pointed canines. “We should teach other women how.”

“You’re not wrong, Prue,” I smiled at her. “We should do our own martial art. We’ll call it the Art of the Red Flag.”

“Our first move would be to teach how to recognize when someone is going to cause you harm.”

Amateurs, Mavka muttered scornfully.

I ignored her. “Then, where best to bite. How to use coconut oil as a lubricant so you can wiggle out of anyone’s grasp. Then, the art of running away.”

“Or we could just invest in some tasers,” Prue said.

“That could be included in our study units. How to use a taser.”

We strolled slowly past the cafe. The florist next door had a seriously insane window display; a huge flowerbud in a pot which looked suspiciously like the alien plant from Little Shop of Horrors. I paused to look at it for a moment, waiting to see if it would move, slightly disappointed when it didn’t. It had been that kind of day.

Prue tugged me away. “Come on. Antonio is sitting in the window.”

Scarlett’s Wine Bar had filled up in the forty minutes that we’d been inside of the Dog and Bone.

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